When you’ve worked as hard and done as much and strived and tried and given and pled and bargained and hoped…surrender. When you have done all that you can do, and there’s nothing left for you to do, give it up. Give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself.
Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, ambitious, kind people into zombies who can’t accomplish a simple task. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your surroundings, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it; you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation.
Depression is humiliating.
If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off those who need to take a pill just so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too.
Depression is humiliating.
No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families — it ruins families. You cannot fathom what it takes to feign normalcy, to get up every morning, to go on about your day, run simple tasks, or even do small talk; when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never experienced it does not make it nonexistent or irrelevant. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression.
You don’t learn by winning all the time.
You learn from your setbacks, obstacles, and mistakes. You are humbled by a loss because you’ll be that much more determined to come back strong. You learn pain and suffering are temporary, and that on the other side of it all is success.
You Can’t Always Win if You Want to Learn (via sparklygains)